Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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