Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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