I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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