i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
