It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
