I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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