i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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