Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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