He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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