are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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