The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize