From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
my poor anus
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
