Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
