Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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