he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
zippers are such a cool invention
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
