we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
