I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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