I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
