i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
