Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
