in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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