I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
