Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
