duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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