you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
