also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize