Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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