i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
