i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize