just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just took my morning after pill in the library
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
