'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
nutella sex= disaster
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize