She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
