Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
