Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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