So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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