I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
