Can i not drive my cunt home
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Congratulations! We have a period
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize