That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
