I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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