What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
