Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
