bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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