Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
