I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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