does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
