Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize