Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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