The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
