Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
