I wanna bring you to show and tell
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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