Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
