why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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