If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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