some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
