What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
